I think we should always be in mourning. Not for things that have passed, but for the things we have. If we are aware of their eventual passing, and remind ourselves of it occasionally, it makes us appreciate the things and people around us so much more. The most painful and regretful passings I’ve experienced were for the people and things I didn’t think to appreciate.

It also makes it less painful when people pass or things disappear. Not because you’ve done all the mourning that needs to be done ahead of time, but because you spent more time truly appreciating them.

Knowing everything and everyone will go eventually also imposes a sense of intentionality to how you spend your time. If you know a family member is passing soon, you’ll spend more time with them. When people find out they are going to die, they begin to appreciate what they love that much more. Cancer victims with months left to live will shift their entire lives to do the things they want to do. Often, I believe reminding yourself that you have a limited amount of time can instill a similar appreciation and sense of urgency that pushes people to live the lives they actually want to live.

It’s much more painful to lose someone if it’s a surprise. Forgetting the mortality of the ones you love means you spend more time taking them for granted, and you wish you had more time because of it. Of course, if you had had more time, it wouldn’t have changed anything, because you wouldn’t have been reminded of their mortality. Knowing and reminding yourself on a regular basis that every relationship, experience, routine, and person is temporary is an immensely grounding practice.

It allows you to look to your future, past unpleasant situations, as well as reminds you to fully appreciate the present. Blinding yourself to the changing nature of the world can be comforting, sure, but it is ultimately harmful to yourself in the long term when that change sneaks up on you.

Realistic planning, prioritization of your dreams, and spontaneity all suffer when you fail to acknowledge the things that will change in your life. It’s impossible to plan for the future when you refuse to believe that the future will be significantly different than the present. If you allow yourself to forget how little time we have to do the things we want, they will get put off for decades. Assuming tomorrow will be the same as today puts no pressure on you to do something spontaneous, as it could be done any day in the future.